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No Real Celebration Among Gay US Military in UK – Just Relief
 
Closet door finally unlocked when ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ dies at 5am tomorrow

US AIR FORCE BASE, MILDENHALL, September 19, 2011  -  When Matthew Walmsley started his shift this evening at 10pm, he was very much “in the closet”, with the door firmly shut and double locked.  But by the time he finishes work at breakfast time tomorrow, that closet door will be unlocked.

The “magic” moment is at 5am in the United Kingdom.  The moment when thousands of servicemembers in the US military will no longer be forced to “live the lie” – and be constantly worried about getting caught, which could lead to dismissal.

It’s the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” after almost 18 years.

There will, of course, be celebrations in Washington, but at the United States Air Force base at Mildenhall in East Anglia, Matthew, a young American airman, will take it all in his stride.

“I’ll work on as normal,” he told UK Gay News.   “And, no, I’m not going to ‘come out’ to the whole base.

“I am already ‘out’ to two or three very good friends,” he added.  “But if anyone asks me [about sexuality], I will be able to be honest.”

Matthew joined the USAF knowing that he would have to keep his sexuality totally under wraps – and that if commanders found out he was gay, that could well have be the end of his military career.

But no more.  President Barack Obama signed the Bill repealing DADT at the end of last year, and the end of the “compromise” law brought-in under President Bill Clinton, is just hours away.

“I am really happy that DADT is ending,” he said.  “It means that from tomorrow I will not have to lie anymore about who I am – that’s the really good thing for me.”

Also happy at the demise of DADT is the English partner of USAF serviceman – the couple have been together for more than five years.

But for Carl, who specifically asked that his last name and the name of his partner be revealed, the ending of DADT is just the beginning of the end.

“The ending of DADT gets rid of the ‘who you are’ aspect,” he said.  “Because of Federal law there are still restrictions that affect my partners and me.”

He cited the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act as probably the most important thing now to be addressed.

“This Federal law prevents legal recognition of same-sex couples who are married or have registered a civil partnership or union in those states that allow it.

“I know of one couple – an American serviceman and an Englishman – who registered a civil partnership here.  And this has caused many problems,” he said.

The English partner is basically not able the live in the United States because DOMA is prevents obtaining immigration papers as he or she is not legally recognised as a spouse.

Carl and his partner, who have not registered a civil partnership in UK, have already experienced the problem when his partner as assigned to an air base in America.

“Our relationship is now ‘long distance’,” he said.  “But we do see each other when we can.”  And this is, of course, not as often as they would like.

Even so, Carl is a frequent visitor to America, and he was even part of a delegation that went to The Pentagon for DADT discussions – “It was a very positive meeting,” he said.

And he is an active member of Servicemembers United, helping where he can in the group’s campaign.

Meanwhile, over in Washington, there is a couple who have been together for 19 years – a civilian and her US Army partner, an active-duty captain.

After 19 years hiding her relationship with an active-duty Army captain, Cathy Cooper is getting “ready to exhale”.

And, from tomorrow, Ms. Cooper will dare speak her love’s name in public.

“[The end of DADT] is life-changing she told David Crary of The Associated Press..  “I just want to be able to breathe — knowing I can call my partner at work and have a conversation without it having to be in code” From tomorrow, Ms. Cooper will “dare speak her love’s name in public,” Mr. Crary wrote.

[See the AP article, via Air Force Times, HERE]

In an another Associated Press article filed in San Diego, Air Force Capt. Diane Cox, whose gay son served in the Navy, said she got into heated debates with service members vowing not to take showers and share rooms with gays before Congress voted to repeal the law, but after the military held sensitivity trainings to explain the new rules “everybody just shut up”

Jokes are still told about gay people, but the harsh remarks have stopped, she said.

“It’s a new Air Force.  I’m really surprised how everything settled down as much as it has. Some of the best, most honourable people have had the military pin medals of honor on them for combat and then they’ve gotten kicked out over this.  It's shameful.  I'm glad it's done,” the captain told the news agency.

■ A US Air Force spokesperson at Mildenhall to UK Gay News this evening: “The Air Force is ready to successfully implement this change with the same unparalleled professionalism the Service has demonstrated with every transformation we have undertaken.

“Nearly all of the Air Force has been trained,” she said.  “Airmen of all ranks indicate the training was clear, on-target, and effective.  As of 15 July, the most recent report, 1.979 million Service members, active duty and reserve components, had been trained.

“The mission of the Air Force and the basic tenets of the oath we all take haven’t changed.  Leadership, professionalism, discipline and respect continue to be the underpinnings of our nation’s military service.”

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